does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
