So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
