She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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