I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
