Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
