I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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