where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
