why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
birth control should be required to get into college
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
