She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
