I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
