It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
