she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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