when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
being pregnant is like rehab
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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