If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
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woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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