Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
