apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
