I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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