Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
