So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize