I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
