I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Randomize
