Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
