i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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