btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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