I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
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It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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