i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize