I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
