Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
This house was built for laser tag.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
