i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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