Do vagina's smell?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
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