my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
