i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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