Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
