Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
