we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
