does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
