so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
