bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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