I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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