The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
