We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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