I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"