She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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