the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
