I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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