OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
