my phone cant type all the emotion im having
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Randomize
