No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
