It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
