i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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