Soap is not a condiment
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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