i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
