Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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