i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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