she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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