I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
