trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
