Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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