the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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