umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
