A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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