You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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