he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
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I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
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I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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