There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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