it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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