she woke up with a sticky ear
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
